It seems to me that since I moved to Georgia whatever I do - I definitely do wrong and I have particular tendency to f**k up things.

Hah, wonderful,isn't it? Seems like my nickname should be Natural Disaster. Private life?? Haha, what a stupid notion. Does it exist?

I thought I am happy tonight. For the first time since April. I mean, I was happy when my niece was born but that was another feeling - LOVE.

I was fascinated with the evening which I have spent with 44 newbies and 2 TM members, I did enjoy their honesty, their flame, their enthusiasm and belief that we altogether can change this world in positive way... And then just couple of words, nothing special, just Georgian tradition of spoiling others' mood when yours is awful.. Though it is not purely Georgian feature, most of people possess it. Since I came here, up to several hundreds times different people tried to show me or prove me that they are smarter, more experienced, more decisive, more adult, more and more and more. Let them be, I do not pretend to be Miss SuperGirl. Don't care at all.

Have you ever though of roots of evil in this world? I assume it is miscommunication.. All untold words do, for sure, create misunderstanding which leads in turn to anger, frustration and all over negative feelings. And it is a pity to admit that during last 3-4 months I have been changed a lot.

Not did I change myself, but external circumstances. I would never imagine myself being silent in the situation when I should scream and shout trying to convey message I want to say. Eventually, again kidding, joking, smiling, obscurity. Fine. Most probably this is what I deserve.

People here are so limited. They afraid to express themselves, bearing in mind killing me question: "What others will say?" Who are those others? Do they care? I mean, I would advise everyone to mind their own business - maybe then Georgia would recover after political and economic recession.

I certainly became more nervous and aggressive, I need my angels with me: my friends (would like to discuss religion in another post - will not risk right now)

Ohh, so many emotions boiling inside me, heating me from inside.

Do you see how much I need you right now?

Where will I finally be taken? Hopefully, not deadlock.

I was constantly fighting with other people's bad moods around, hating sour facial expressions and complaints. Oh my, do I become like them?

No, Anka Kerechashvili is about to come back, she only needs her friends next to her. My Friends, those who I adore. And no one dares to let me down. No f**king way, I promise. I was, I am and I will be from Kazakhstan, grown up and educated there.

Good Luck!